So I just moved to a new city. When you are in an
unfamiliar place, you do what the locals say to do, because in the words of
Jerry Seinfeld, “you’ve got to do something.” Lowell has some interesting
things, but tonight wasn’t feeling like a Quilt Museum visiting, Kerouac scroll
seeing, loom observing kind of night. So I took what every third person has
said to me and went to see the Lowell Spinners with a friend. This was made
easier by the thirty second walk to the stadium and 10 dollar ticket (which I
found out was a rip off twice, first when I ascertained that the 6 dollar
ticket gets you about the same seats, and then again when we walked out and
realized no one watched the entrances and exits after about the 3rd
inning).
Now, I have been to minor league games before. I have fond
memories of the Portland Sea Dogs and Myrtle Beach Pelicans. I even have a hat
from the latter, and I don’t wear hats. But I knew these Single A short season
affiliate Spinners might be a bit different. From the moment I looked at the game
program (which cost 50 cents and was 2 printed pieces of paper stapled
together), and saw the sub .300 OPS of most of the players (not their OBP,
their OPS), I knew I was in a different world. I have been known as kind of an
elitist in terms of the sports I pay attention to: I don’t like college and don’t
even get into the Olympics much. I want to see the best play, for big money and
big stakes. But this Spinners night turned that on its head.
My night could best be characterized as creating a large
amount of amusement. It started with the fact that there were players named
Kendrick Perkins and Pat Light on the team (who I thought was named Matt Light
and thus I grew immediately disappointed when my friend pointed out otherwise).
Then there were the foam baseballs that were thrown at us between innings from the field, one of which my friend caught. I also loved the $1000 dollar hot dog night we lucked into: a
TOTAL of a thousand bucks was stuffed via ones and tens into the foil of the
hot dogs. That’s right, on the bun, touching the dogs. The ante was raised
after the second inning when they started throwing AND sling shotting hot dogs
with dollars in them into the crowd. Sadly, I won none of this cash.
But the night managed to grow merrier. The Spinners, named
presumably after the loom workers of the city, didn’t take the easy route and
have a spider as the mascot. Or even a giant loom. Or perhaps a walking spindle.
No, a green alligator made his way on the field, with a twin gator. Then Mario
and Luigi arrived (no idea the connection), and then the best yet, a giant
toothbrush appeared. We think maybe it was a dentistry advertisement but all I
know is a giant toothbrush played musical chairs with the Mario Bros and the alligators.
Only I never found out who won because when it got down to Mario and Alligator
number 1, the stadium guy grabbed the chair and ran away with the two mascots
running after him.
As my mind was Spinning with the all the disparate pop
culture references, two things happened. First, the Scooby Doo Mystery Machine
(what?) drove around the field throwing t-shirts and then Ice-T (of Law and
Order SVU fame) came on the big screen with a “get loud” message for the fans.
That one might have been the best because he isn’t even related to kids genres
(well, they SHOULDN’T be watching SVU at least). As we left after the “adults versus
kids sing off”, which was American Pie versus Who Lives in A Pineapple Under
the Sea, my head was reeling in an attempt to reconcile the eras, genres,
years, and cultures that had just been mixed together (and I missed many examples).
However, as I was letting all this wash over my mind on
the roof of the adjacent garage (from which we could see directly into the park
and hear everything, and makes the 10 dollar ticket a third level of rip off),
I came to a strong conclusion. This was FUN. Sports are supposed to have this
level of zany fun where such randomness can collide. Kids were yelling like
crazy at that game, enjoying every second even though this isn’t a big league
situation. I make a lot of fun of baseball for disconnecting with its fans, and
fading as America’s pastime. And I will stand behind a lot of that criticism
(youtube, MLB, youtube and replay). However, I have failed to give baseball the
credit of being the sport that can entertain young kids with gimmicks AND the play
on the field. It can create an experience for 6 bucks a ticket. Maybe I’m too
jaded from the experience of fighting traffic to Fenway, or watching a 5.5 hour
game unfold on ESPN. However, I will say I will be going back to the Spinners
soon, as that was some interesting stuff. I will even take it a little less
seriously next time. I think I need to balance my obsessive, statistical nature
with some Spinners from time to time. So I’ll definitively go back. Probably after they open the gates for free though.
BLISS
